- Grumpy -Starting today I don't care what other people thinks of me. Go ahead and think that I'm selfish, full of egoism, emo-kid, troublesome and so on. I couldn't careless. It was you - who say those words to me - made me turns like those words you describe. I did try my best to be the person you expected, but you took me for granted and once I do something wrong, that's when you start losing your faith on me.
Once again, I couldn't careless! Screw you guys out there who don't understand me.
I have my own pride and I am not gonna back down on every words you say about me. Don't you dare think you can easily tame me like you can tame a cat.
I follow everything you say because I always afraid of being labeled as 'RUDE - LITTLE - SISTER - ON - EARTH' and people starts to believe you for it while I actually try my best not to become a 'TOOL - OF - OLDER - SIBLINGS' because you get what you wanted by using MY OWN MONEY and you just EASILY TOOK THOSE MONEY WITHOUT PAYING ME BACK.
Seriously, if I said I don't want to lend my money to that person, that's when he start going berserk, ranting things about 'CHEAPSKATE - LITTLE - SISTER' or 'RUDE - LITTLE - SISTER' in front of other family members or stupidly punching some random walls/doors. And unfortunately, some family members are STUPID ENOUGH TO BELIEVE those statements without even knowing my inner turmoil. Some even think that I'M AN ATTENTION SEEKER. Fuck you! You don't understand me, because you don't have a CRAZY DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY like me.
And I only know one thing, Let's just pretend, pretend that my family is a 'happily - ever - after' family.
But you don't know how many times I cried whenever my family starts abandoning me when they are in a great state but seek my help when they are desperate. LIKE A WHORE DESPERATE FOR SEX! Because they know I totally can't say no to people who wants help. THEY KNOW MY WEAKNESS!
My patience has its own limit, I'm not like any Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) from a long time ago who can withstand anything without feeling angry to the people who easily brush you off like a dead leaf.
It's up to you whether you still want me in this world or not, I don't care. For as long as I live, I'll do my own purpose - success in life and endure anything that God sent to my life.
Let me suffer and struggle for life first, who knows in the future I live a VERY HAPPY LIFE that you can't even reach me, taint me with your false concepts and expectations.
There! Thanks to Muku-nii for telling me to do this.
"Use your blog to vent your anger! Who cares, for as long as you feel content after you type in your negative feelings."
*hugs Muku-nii*
It took me more than 1 hour to think of anything that could led me turning emo. Let this be a good start for my life in 2010.
Lol, but it's kinda true.
MUST... FIGHT... EMO... URGES...
Ja ne! Schooling starts tomorrow, although I'm not happy for schooling but I can't wait to see my classmates again! Meet you guys tomorrow, ne?
P/s: To JUN; the 'annoyed' or 'angry' or 'moody' mood themes are from the game itself, especially the ending. HAHA SPOILER JUA EH.
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